The other day was just looking outside the car window while driving back home. We stopped at a signal and saw another car that came and stood next to ours. I turned around and looked at a young man singing away loudly , but nothing was heard outside because he had the A/C turned on and we could only see his movements.
What was facinating was that people behave differently when alone and as soon as someone passes them by or they realize someone is looking at them, the behaviour changes, sometimes drastically and sometime less. Would it not be wonderfull if we can enact what we are, irrespective of who is looking and who is passing us by ?
In his book, "How to win friends and Influence People" Dale Carnegie stresses the need for being ourselves always. That will beget trust. Trust will beget relationships. Many studies go on to prove that people are influenced by the WAY you say things, more than by what you are saying. 
Sometime back I heard about a mother asking her son, what part of the body was the most important one...after many many attempts, the son finally ended with the "brain", he could not think anything else would be that important. His mother finally said, "Son , its the shoulder, you see, that is what people need when they are hurting or angry or upset or sad". Has your shoulder been that usefull lately ? People generally tend to forget what we say, but I can assure you they are not going to forget how you made them feel ! Its important that our gestures convey what we are.
Sometime back I heard about a mother asking her son, what part of the body was the most important one...after many many attempts, the son finally ended with the "brain", he could not think anything else would be that important. His mother finally said, "Son , its the shoulder, you see, that is what people need when they are hurting or angry or upset or sad". Has your shoulder been that usefull lately ? People generally tend to forget what we say, but I can assure you they are not going to forget how you made them feel ! Its important that our gestures convey what we are. In the past decade I hav
e come to learn the language of love, where every alphabet is a gesture ! For example, a morning hug to the better half and a goodnight kiss, did not seem so important in life, until we started doing it. We discovered that it was a wonderfull way to tell each other that all the faults of yesternight or what the day gave us, were forgotten and we are one again. Even sitting and talking for half an hour will not have given us that assurance. We will also instantly know something is wrong if the hug is not too tight or the kiss is not too long ! That is the language of love, it helps us communicate better.
e come to learn the language of love, where every alphabet is a gesture ! For example, a morning hug to the better half and a goodnight kiss, did not seem so important in life, until we started doing it. We discovered that it was a wonderfull way to tell each other that all the faults of yesternight or what the day gave us, were forgotten and we are one again. Even sitting and talking for half an hour will not have given us that assurance. We will also instantly know something is wrong if the hug is not too tight or the kiss is not too long ! That is the language of love, it helps us communicate better. We hear that it takes around 43muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile. Also thats the only
gesture that is universally accepted by everyone and reciprocated instantly. And its highly contagious. Smile at a baby, he will instally become your friend, but if you stare at him with a frown on your face, its high likely that the baby will cry for its mom. Even as little children we learn that, a smiling person is acceptable. Smile makes strangers approachable. But then there are those who only smile in installments. For them, authority is more important and they use the frowning gesture often. In fact, its those simling giants that rule the world, all the frowning cowards have ended up losing the war.
gesture that is universally accepted by everyone and reciprocated instantly. And its highly contagious. Smile at a baby, he will instally become your friend, but if you stare at him with a frown on your face, its high likely that the baby will cry for its mom. Even as little children we learn that, a smiling person is acceptable. Smile makes strangers approachable. But then there are those who only smile in installments. For them, authority is more important and they use the frowning gesture often. In fact, its those simling giants that rule the world, all the frowning cowards have ended up losing the war. Many times, when I ask people what is the difference between seeing and looking, they think both are same. I can look at the watch but need not see the time. So looking is casual, seeing is detailed. Many times we look people over, and miss seeing them. Its important that each time we meet someone we acknowledge them by our eyes. We should connect with thier eyes atleast once, even if we are just passing by and saying hi. Is this important ? ok , try this, keep looking down and saying "hi" to your close friends, and catch their response. Don't look at their eyes even once during a day. It will certainly convey that something is wrong between you two. The great book says, "The eyes are the light of the body" and I believe our eye-to-eye look will brighten up someone who needs a loving compassionate and friendly look followed by a smile.
Now, you may be wondering what this is all about, hugging, kissing, lending a shoulder, smiling and seeing. These things are becoming things of the past. These gestures are no longer welcome in the corporate rat race or for that matter even in the family (Its disheartening :( ). So don't waste time reading this, go and greet someone you love, work with or even a total stranger, today , with the best smile you can put on your face. Hug that person who you think needs a good hug. These things are to be freely given (Often!!!) , but they give back rewards that goes beyond human measurements. Happy gesturing !
